Standing in the card aisle with one list for family, one for friends and one for the office can feel like three shopping trips at once. The card that suits a sister might feel too personal for a desk neighbor. One design rarely works for every person on the list. Christmas card etiquette gets easier once each group gets its own kind of card, and choosing that card first settles half the decisions.
Sorting the List Before Buying Any Cards
Christmas is the biggest seasonal card holiday, and a lot of senders buy in bulk. The Greeting Card Association counts about 1.3 billion Christmas cards bought each year, boxed cards included. Some senders save a pop-up card, like the 3D Christmas designs from Designer Pop, for the few people at the top of the list. A boxed set can cover everyone else without anyone feeling shortchanged.
A lot of questions about Christmas card etiquette come up because the same design can go to very different people. Splitting the list into family, friends and coworkers before shopping shows how many cards each pile needs. Eight relatives, a dozen friends and twenty teammates call for two very different boxes. Writing those numbers down also keeps the budget from creeping up at the register.
Price is part of the sorting. Single cards in a store can run from under a dollar to more than $10. A box of 20 keeps the per-card cost low for the long pile. The special cards then go only to the people who will notice the difference.
Long card lists are nothing new. Back in 1822, the U.S. Superintendent of Mails had to hire 16 extra carriers for December deliveries, according to the Emily Post Institute. Britain printed the first commercial Christmas cards in 1843, a run of 1,000 that Sir Henry Cole ordered to send to his friends.
Christmas Card Etiquette for Family
Family cards include the most news, so this is where photo cards and short newsletters fit. The Emily Post Institute suggests keeping a holiday newsletter to updates from the year without bragging, and leaving out political commentary. “Maya started a job she loves” sounds kinder than a list of her raises. A handwritten note on a printed card works too, and older relatives like to keep those.
A candid from a summer trip or a backyard snowball fight works well on a photo card and shows what the year was like. Relatives who live far away usually get the most out of a photo, since they may not see the kids again until summer.
Signing for a household has no strict rule. Adults usually go first and children after, and pets can join the signature too. A grandparent reading the card can then tell at a glance who sent it. Grandparents may also love a child’s drawing slipped inside, even when the card itself came from a box.
When Family Celebrates a Different Holiday
Blended families and in-laws may celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or nothing at all in December. In those cases, the Emily Post Institute suggests sending a card for the relative’s own holiday. For a relative who dislikes Christmas, a New Year card avoids the issue and still keeps the family in touch. For a mixed household, a general “Happy Holidays” card with “Happy Hanukkah” handwritten inside covers everyone in one envelope.
Picking Christmas Cards for Friends
Friends are the group where the card itself can say the most. A card picked for a friend’s taste makes the message inside easier to write, since the card already set the tone. A friend with a dry sense of humor might get a funny card. For a friend who decorates every room, something with glitter or a pop-up tree may be the right pick.
Distance helps decide which card goes where. A friend across the country who will not see the sender all season may deserve the nicer card from the top pile. A neighbor who drops by every week can get a cheerful card from the box and a plate of cookies.
Some friends need a gentler card this year. Someone who lost a parent or went through a divorce may not want a loud “Merry and Bright” design. A card with a winter scene and a short handwritten line about thinking of them fits better. Mailing that card a little ahead of the rest puts something kind in the mailbox before the holidays get loud.
Christmas Card Etiquette at Work
Christmas card etiquette at work starts with a card that suits everyone on a team. For business contacts or anyone whose traditions are unclear, the Emily Post Institute recommends a broader greeting and a design without religious symbols. “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy New Year” both fit that description.
Giving the whole team the same design keeps anyone from comparing cards at the coffee machine. A short handwritten line on each one, such as “Thanks for covering for me in July,” still makes every card personal. A card for a manager can follow the same pattern, so nobody takes a fancier card as a bid for attention. Remote teammates can get the same card by mail when the sender has a home address, or an e-card when not.
Office cards also have a few things to leave out. Jokes about drinking at the holiday party and office gossip do not belong in a card that might sit open on a desk. Gift cards tucked inside for only some people leave the rest wondering what they did wrong. A team that wants to do more can sign one group card for a manager instead.
Clients and vendors are a separate pile. A company card usually covers them, if the business sends one. A personal card makes sense only for someone the sender has worked with closely all year.
Questions About Sending Christmas Cards
Is it bad Christmas card etiquette to skip a year?
No. The Emily Post Institute says sending cards is optional, even for someone who sent them last year. Nobody has to trade cards one for one. A surprise card from someone who was not on the list can earn them a spot next year.
When should Christmas cards go out?
Anytime from Thanksgiving through the first couple of weeks of January works. A card that arrives after Christmas can switch to a New Year greeting, which also suits friends who do not celebrate Christmas. Cards headed overseas belong in the first batch, since international mail moves slower in December. Mailing the family pile next leaves the office cards for the last week before the holiday break.
Is an e-card okay for coworkers?
Yes, an e-card works for a team that lives in email anyway. Writing it like a paper card, sending it from a personal address and hiding everyone’s addresses in the Bcc line keeps it polite. A coworker who prefers paper may still be glad to find a real card on their desk.
Before Addressing the First Envelope
Sorting the list into family, friends and coworkers before the first store visit shows how many boxed cards and special cards to buy. From there, following Christmas card etiquette means a neutral design for work and a personal note for family. Each friend gets a card chosen for their taste. Buying the boxed set first, while the shelves are still full, leaves time to hunt for the few special cards.
Sources
Emily Post Institute. Holiday Greeting Cards.
Greeting Card Association. Greeting Cards: Facts and Info to Know.
